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real eyes realize real lies
Whats the difference between a phone number & an opinion? People ask for your phone number.
There is a method to my madness....and as soon as I figure out what the hell it is, I’m gonna be friggin’ unstoppable.....
If you knew what I considered to be my "best behavior" it`s doubtful you`d advise me to be "on it".
How ignorant do I have to be before I start experiencing bliss?
A new study says schizophrenia and pot smoking are genetically linked — but don`t worry, another study says you`re just being paranoid.
It`s a beautiful day. I think I`ll skip my meds and stir things up a bit
I wonder if dogs ever wake up in the morning and think "dear god please don`t take me jogging with you today"?
Hi everyone! Welcome to AA. This is a "judgment free" zone...unless we`re talking about Janice who ate all the cookies last week.
If you really want someone to listen to you, start the conversation with "I shouldn`t be telling you this but ..."
Relationships always start out as "You`re smart and funny." and end up as "You think you know everything and it`s all a joke to you!"
To make it stand, you wet it. To make it wet, you suck it. To make it stiff, you lick it. To get it in, you push it. Threading a needle isn`t easy.
Pee your name in the snow and you`ll quickly understand why they should teach cursive in our schools.
Honestly, I have no idea what I would even do with 5 hours of energy.
My "Savings Account" is just several pairs of unwashed jeans on the floor that may or may not still have change in the pockets.