Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I enjoy long walks on the beach and that thing you just did with that banana.
Some women need to realize that showing cleavage doesn`t fix your face.
I will never be to old to laugh when somone farts in a public bathroom peeing..
I don`t eat a high fiber diet to be healthier, I eat so I`ll have to $hit more at work.
Men hang out in bars for one of two reasons: Either they have no wife to go home to, or they do
My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.
If your cup is only half full, you probably need a smaller bra.
According to my neighbor`s rooster, it`s 5am now. Also according to my neighbor`s rooster, we`re having fried chicken for dinner tomorrow.
Even though I`m only 29, I know I`m going to die a bitter, lonely, miserable old man ... I`m married.
I hate brushing my teeth at night. It signifies I can`t have any more food and I`m never ready for that kind of commitment
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
I`m just saying a sarcasm font could go a loooong way!
Arguing over a girl`s bust size is like choosing between Heineken, Coors or Budweiser -- Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.
It takes so much self control for me not to write, "you sure about that?" under Facebook engagement announcements.
I bought a book on eBay called, "How to scam on eBay". That was 2 months ago, and it`s not arrived yet