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Sometimes, late at night in the market..i switch up all the color tubes in the hair dye kits.
My Bills are so big that I have to call them William now.
They should make an app that tells me how many Oreos I can eat for every mile I jog.
"Let the chips fall where they may." -My kids when they`re eating chips on the couch.
My right thumb is in the best shape of my life.
The party`s not over `till you smile for the mugshot
Happy 4/21! National work drug testing day!
Insanity does not run in my family. It strolls through, taking it`s time and getting to know each one of us personally.
Ignoring things don`t make them go away, it makes them drunk dial you.
Saw A bumper sticker that said "Fat People Are Harder To Kidnap" not sure if he was a proud fat man or a disgruntled kidnapper though.
It`s kind of funny how as you get older, you start enjoying things that you hated as a kid, like taking naps and getting spanked.
FOR SALE: P90X® home fitness kit, still in box, $50 or will trade for king size Snickers
In your face with a can of mace, make you cry all over the place!!
I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn.....it`s dead yarn now, though.
My friend is showing me her new vegan handbag. I know vegans can be annoying, but should we really be making accessories out of them?