Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I shouldn`t have to work. People should just pay me for being awesome.
Stovetop Directions: 1.) Use microwave.
Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
Kids may be a gift, but I like playing with the box it came in.
Liquor makes me happy, You ..... not so much.
Holding up score cards during sex is not acceptable, apparently.
Iām beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on your bus do not go round & round.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she`s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
I keep hitting the escape key ... But I`m still here.
Would people still go to the gym if Instagram didn`t exist?
Just found out my birthday is the same day I was born... Life is crazy...
If I get hurt playing Wii Sports, that`s still a sports injury, right?
The best thing about weed is it teaches you that it`s okay to take 35 minutes to make a sandwich
My problem has always been a Constipated Brain and my mouth has the Runs.......
Pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens.