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I am so thankful there is no alert that tells someone how many times I have enlarged their profile pics.
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. Im pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
I’m proud of anyone who has quit doing drugs and alcohol, I don’t want to hang out with you now… but I’m still very proud…
The naked truth is better, than d dressed-up lie :) Aa
I feel like there’s something missing in my life and I don’t know if it’s a person, a dog, or just a pizza.
Congrats on your secret admirer! Must be nice having someone who’s ashamed to admit they like you!
How do they even grow boneless chicken`s?
Not to brag, but I don’t need to smoke pot to get the munchies.
It`s tax season. Anyone have some spare kids?
Send a man to the store to get 5 items, he will come home with 4. Send a woman to the store to get 5 items she will come home with 54. Its science.
Deep down I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
When things get to stressful I hit the jim.......... Beam.
If the shoe fits . . . buy one in every color
I think my TV remote has developed some sort of Romulan cloaking technology.
Roses are red violets are blue vodka cost less than dinner for 2.