Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
They sell Harvard shirts at Target so that’s a good way to save $ 399,984.05.
I don`t get along with Hipster kids. Not a fan of the smell of thrift stores.
I keep forgetting how bad my memory has become..
If you give me a phone number or directions while I`m on the phone with you, just know that I`m using my very best finger pen and air paper.
“I’ll be speaking with my lawyer” is the adult version of saying “I`m telling mom”
If only I did everything with the same precision in which I craft my sandwiches.
I don`t always say I`m never drinking again, but when I do, I`m a f*cking liar.
Online personality tests are pretty self-explanatory… If you’re taking the test, chances are you don`t have one.
My hearing is fine. There`s no need to repeat yourself! I ignored you perfectly well the first time.
For the love of God, single people, stop looking for love or you`ll end up married.
People who peel the entire banana before eating it must be the same ones who take off all their clothes to go to the bathroom.
BOOK FACT: If you took every book at Barnes and Noble and laid them end to end you get thrown out by security and banned from returning.
Ugh... Seriously? If I get ONE more sexual advance on facebook, that will be.. like... a first.
I read that India launched a rocket to Mars the other day. That seems like a strange place to put a call center?
I`ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I`m actually talking to someone.