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People reckon I´m too patronizing (that means I treat them as if they´re stupid).
What idiot called it the sun instead of a space heater?
Turbo tax might just be the worst video game I ever played.
I love salad! Just wish it had the taste and texture of pizza.
If the cigarette tax is meant to discourage smoking, is the income tax meant to discourage working?
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.
It turns out that playing strip solitaire isn`t nearly as much fun as playing strip poker. Especially at work...
Do transformers have health insurance or car insurance???
I am really thankful that I have a desk job. I could never get all my personal stuff done at home.
I want to grow old and disgusting with you.
I bet heroin addicts can open a Capri sun on the first try.
Walmart does not have a dildo section. But it`s always fun to ask their employees if they do.
Getting that beach body is easy. You just have to know where to dig.
I got food poisoning today. I don`t know when I`ll use it though.
wishes that more people would declare thumb wars these days. I`m sure that all this texting has prepared my thumb muscles for battle.