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Your family tree has a couple of coconuts
Stress balls really work when you shove them down someone`s throat.
I don`t understand no one has excepted my boiling water challenge
If airports are so safe, why are the buildings called Terminal
The next time there`s an awkward silence, try whispering, "Did you forget your line?"
If you can’t laugh at yourself, call me… I’ll do it.
I`m pretty sure the phrase "Did I say that out loud?" is just a way of adding an exclamation point.
Single ? I`m not single, I`m in a long standin relationship with fun and freedom ! ;)
Some young men are like bottles of wine. They need to be tended to carefully & given time to mature; which is why I keep a few in my cellar.
Famous words from Fergie... "Boom Boom Pow!" Happy 4th of July!!
When I die, I am going to haunt the f*ck out of you people.
If only someone on the internet would give me their opinion on the election.
If I ever get off this couch, I’ll be unstoppable.
Answering your cell when you don`t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.
my husband of 10 years still goes mad when I use his toothbrush, if anyone knows a better way to get dog poo off shoes, im all ears