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*Me washing my car* Person: Hey what’s up? Washing your car? Me: No, I’m watering it to see if it’ll grow into a bus.
I just made 3 critical errors: 1. I woke up for work. 2. I went to work. 3. I arrived at work.
I came across 3 snakes while mowing the yard today, but those of you in North America already know that because you heard me scream
Great idea for an April Fools Prank ... Hide all of the desktop icons on someone`s computer and replace their wallpaper with a screenshot of their old desktop.
Babe, you look Hot! Is your air conditioner broken?
I hate when I`m wearing my apple bottoms jeans and I can`t find boots with the fur.
Google was first named, `BackRub`. If they hadn`t changed the name, we`d be saying, `I don`t know, go BackRub it.`
When I`m in an elevator with a stranger I generally hold their hand to let them know that they`re safe
Haters gunna hate,potatoes gunna patate!!
Story of my life : 1. i wake up .... 2. i go to school.... 3. i see a girl .... 4. i run to her and kiss her.... Actually, the right order is 2,3,4,1 ..
I slept and woke up. (ok, lately this has become a major accomplishment in my life)
The liquor store clerk just wished me a merry Christmas as if she weren`t going to see me 7 more times before then.
I would unblock you but then I`d be admitting I`d made a mistake and that`s just not my thing.
My Facebook account would benefit from a breathalyzer-activated password.
All women have an hour glass figure – it’s just that they all tote around different amounts of sand.