Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Because of smart phones my thumbs now have biceps.
It`s not a mental breakdown if the police wasn`t called.
So the other day a girl asked me to Facebook her, needless to say she wasn`t to happy after I hit her in the face with a book
Helpful Tip: When your wife ask whats on TV, don`t say dust.
Awkward moment when you don’t know if you were offered gum out of generosity or if your breath stinks.
If my "check engine" light would check my wallet, it would know there`s nothing I can do about it.
My Ex-Wife: Our relationship is like being in prison! ME: I don’t think so. People have sex in prison.
I`m leaving my body to science because even scientists need a good laugh now and then.
My wife said if this gets 100 likes, we`ll try butt stuff........ * Please DON`T like,,, her strap-on is big and scary.....
I`m going to stand outside, so if anyone asks I am outstanding.
Trust me , as you get to know me , i just get weirder.
Of course everyone deserves a 2nd chance, but I gave yours to someone else.
Job interview tip: repeatedly ask if you`re under oath
Make BIG mistakes in life. Those people are remembered forever. On Youtube.
All my passwords are protected by amnesia.