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We got about 5-6 inches of snow here in the last 24 hrs, or, according to men, we got 8 inches.
As a man, EVERY month is `Breast Awareness Month` for me.
I think on December 21 all the power companies should shut off the power for like 10 minutes just to make people flip out.
Sometimes I think, "Screw this, I will just be a stripper." Then I remember I am fat and I can`t dance.
Technically, it isn`t pre-marital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
Technology is outpacing my ability to come up with convincing lies that I didn`t get your message.
How come know-it-alls don`t know how annoying they are?
sometimes... late at night... i rearrange traffic signs. people need to be challenged.
If a dentist makes his money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should I trust a toothpaste that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?
Side boob is only hot on women, bro.
So this guy pointing a gun to my face was like: Your money or your life! and I was like: I`m on Facebook, I don`t have money or a life.
My blind neighbor sure does take his dog on a lot of walks...
Funny how the closer I get to the bar the friendlier I become.
I just ate some generic Frosted Flakes.... They"rrrrreeee alright.
Getting a text from someone when I`m trying to Facebook is the emotional equivalent to walking into a spider web.