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I bet Waldo’s parents are worried sick.
is deep in thought . . . if only i could remember what i was thinking about
Well...today is the day. Just gotta build up the nerve to tell my dog she is adopted.
I see you liked my status... I accept your invitation for sex.
I cannot be held responsible for what my face does when other people talk.
bras are booby-traps
If you ever come over unannounced, it`ll take me at least three minutes to answer the door because there is no way I was already wearing pants.
How come no one in a zombie movie has ever seen a zombie movie
Can`t believe people still say "pot" it`s not the 70s anymore we call it "saucepan" now
It`s hard to be a good person when kids fit so perfectly into trash cans.
My daughter asked me why I carry a gun inside the house. I told her I was scared of the CIA. She laughed. I laughed. Amazon Echo laughed.
Someone tore off my warning label when I was born.
Actually told a girl who`s moving to France soon that "there`s lots of French people over there". It`s a wonder how I can even bathe myself.
If I was just learning English and you told me a sport called BOXING takes place in a SQUARE area called a RING, I`d probably give up.
I think Facebook now comes under the housework category.