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2003: Fear that ppl from the internet will find me in real life. 2013: Fear that ppl from real life will find me on the internet.
My husband is not allowed to help with math anymore. Apperently 4 = 6.5 in his reality.
From now on, all of my posts will be written in Morgan Freeman`s voice. Please re-read this one to make sure it`s working.
I just saw a guy with the Monster energy logo tattooed on his neck, so if your village is missing their idiot, we have him.
I found out last night that the only thing worse than waking up 3 times to pee is sleeping right through it.
YouTube "This video is not available in your country". where the hell am I from? NARNIA?
People think that a girl`s dream is to find her perfect guy & be with him forever... That`s Crap! A girl`s dream is to eat without getting fat.
If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that doesn`t let you skip.
Yes, Facebook says we`re `friends` but, trust me, I wouldn`t hesitate to punch you in the face.
I`d like to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with all of you, but I`m afraid they`ll be used against me in a court of law someday.
Part of me wants to help you with your crisis, but part of me wants to go to happy hour.
The toughest part of a lesbian relationship is deciding who gets to be the one who`s always right.
I only party on 2 occasions. 1. When it’s my birthday 2. When it’s not…
Calories? I think you mean delicious points!
I’m having a free beer contest tonight. The 1st person to bring me a case of beer gets to watch me drink it. FOR FREE!