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The Bible is pretty accurate...Especially when thrown at close range.
Never trust a skinny chef
9 out of 10 doctors will agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.
Aren`t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know...The birth of Santa
Somehow, going into The Dollar Store and asking for a price check just never gets old.
Well, I`m really not sure what my spirt animal is but I`m sure it looks like road kill right about now.
Bathtub` spelled backwards is still `bathtub`. It`s not, but for a second there, you believed me.
I would of never even thought of touching half the things that I`ve touched, if it weren`t for the "Do not touch" signs!
The woman in the Superman underwear next to me does not quite understand how white pants work.
My wife said if this gets 100 likes, we`ll try butt stuff........ * Please DON`T like,,, her strap-on is big and scary.....
Cops are allowed to tell women they have the right to remain silent, but when I do it I wind up with a fork in my leg.
I`ve done it in the bathroom, I`ve done it in the bedroom, I`ve done it in the kitchen, on the couch, outside, in the bus, yoo I just can`t seem to stop this texting.:)
Went by the bank today and the female teller was flirting with me which was weird considering she saw my account balance.
I may be asking too much of this coffee.
Sometimes I have to go outside to get signal on my phone for Facebook so yes, you could describe me as "outdoorsy."