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Happy new years, my friends. Thanks for supporting the site, Ralf.
FYI: Push-up bras don`t actually help you do more push-ups :(
Sorry, I can`t hangout. My uncle`s cousin`s sister in law`s best friend`s insurance agent`s roommate`s pet goldfish drowned. It was tragic.
High fiving was the original "like".
This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness....NO WE WON`T!!
While wearing a bikini you show 90% of your body -But men are so polite, that they stare only at the covered places.
Sorry I missed your call. I took too long to answer because I was dancing to the ringtone.
some mornings i wish i could sneak up behind my alarm clock and say, "HOW DOES IT FEEL?!!"
Girls just wanna have funds.
If opportunity doesn`t knock, build a door.
That awkward moment when you sing the wrong part of a song with confidence.
50% of people believe sex is "the connecting of two people`s souls through two people`s bodies, as one." The other 50% are men.
My box of Animal Crackers said, "WARNING: Do Not Eat if Seal is Broken." I open the box, and sure enough...
"F*ck that sh!t", is a perfectly acceptable replacement for the word "no"
Today we salute Vodka~ruining family reunions and supporting hilarious `hold my drink` moments for 50 years...