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To those girls who always put"CRYING" at the end of every status, seriously what do you expect us to do, inbox you a tissue?
If anyone tells you that you drink to much on the weekends. Stop talking to them...you don`t need that kind of negativity in your life
Girls don`t dress for boys, they dress for themselves... If girls dressed for boys, they`d just walk around naked all the time.
The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I have explosive diarrhea right now,"
In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on
A true man is one who leaves his wife alone in cold weather and goes to watch football.
loves driving down the road and just waving at random people like you know them!:D
Where there`s a will I want to be in it
I`m not saying we should kill all the incompetent people. I`m simply suggesting we remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.
A homeless guy just asked me for money, and I almost gave it to him, but then I thought... he`s just going to use it for alcohol, and then I thought... That`s what I`m going to use it for.
Warning: forgetting what pocket your keys are in may result in the Macarena.
I`m getting tired of having to write "Sent from my iPhone" at the end of all my e-mails. Maybe I should just get an iPhone.
Never look directly at the people having a sizzling plate of fajitas delivered to their table... It’s what they want.
They`re having a Jamaican hair-do day tomorrow at work. I`m dreading it.
Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.