Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There are no bad pictures. That`s just how your face looks sometimes.
Haters are my motivators(:
I wonder if angry people know about naps?
My fantasy is having two women at once...One Cooking, One Cleaning.
My girlfriend and I have an open relationship and will continue to do so right up until she finds out.
Yes, milk from cows tastes nice. But to the person that first found that out...you have issues bro
What can I do today that is only going to happen once in a blue moon?
The divorce rate is almost at 60%. How does Cupid keep his job with that level of failure?
The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to piss you off
Raising teenagers is easy, they sleep 16 hours day, eat the other 8, and the only word in their vocab is "ok"
Guys you should never overreact when you hear the words, " The babysitter is late."
10% of people genuinely care about your problems. The other 90% are glad that you’ve got them.
My body is by no means a temple but it can be one heck of a amusement park ride...
No really I`m fine, I have drugs and alcohol to block out reality, but thanks anyway...
I must have drank more than I thought last weekend...there`s an entire hour that I don`t remember!