Daily Silly Status

I may look like I`m doing nothing, but in my head I`m quite busy.

Turning your signal light on once you`ve already changed lanes is just about as useful as offering to help the old lady across the street AFTER she`s already been hit by a school bus full of screaming children. Just sayin`

Wine is just grapes for procrastinators.

My life`s paradox: I love sleeping, but I never want to go to bed early.

Ok advertisers, for the last time. I’m playing a game I downloaded for free. So, the fact that you chose to advertise here means your product is grossly overpriced…

Sorry but if these walls could talk I`m pretty sure they`d talk about wall things and not whatever scandal you`re blowing out of proportion.

Can we just stop with the pre-sliced cheese? Is anyone so busy that they don’t have time to cut the cheese?

If at first you don`t succeed, try drinking a shot of Vodka while you do it. You`ll be amazed of how much less you care.

I`m sorry, all I hear is your perfume

Bored, so I’m going to find a kid that looks like me and tell him I’m him from the future.

They should just go ahead and put a volume setting on my TV that says "Eating Doritos".

I wish electronics would scream a little bit when you unplugged them.

If you can`t handle me at my worst, then that sucks because that`s all there is to me.

If Guys Wrote Valentine’s Cards: “I don’t even need beer to think you’re attractive.”

All I want is a little more than I’ll ever get.