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A lot of people are very competitive when playing stupid.
I`m not sure why they gave all these other people cars.
Sorry that most of my hilarious jokes are borderline inappropriate. And by sorry, I mean you`re welcome.
I figured out the chemical composition of Holy Water. It`s H2OMG
I think Tampax and Hershey`s should get together and offer a super pack....
It isn`t a successful BBQ until an intoxicated idiot runs face first into a sliding glass door. I`m fine by the way.
"Karate" is an old Japanese word that means, "My kid can`t hit a baseball."
In a perfect world Taco Bell would deliver...
When I win the lottery, the first thing I`m going to buy is a pot to piss in. I`ve always wanted one of those.
Sometimes late at night.. I dig a hole in the back yard by lantern light.. Sure keeps my nosy neighbors on their toes.. :|
You think seven years is bad for breaking a mirror? Try breaking a condom.
I copied and pasted your pic of what you ate...and got MORE "likes" than you did. :P
I dream of a day when a mysterious hand will pop out of the screen and b!tch-slap you silly each time you post a boring or stupid status.
The problem in general terms is that people suck.
My wife wrote an email to me saying she was concerned that we have communications issues. I immediately sent an IM asking her to clarify. She messaged me on Facebook saying not to worry but that sometimes we’re not as connected as she’d like. I tweeted her that I love her more than anything. She texted me that she loves me too and sent me a poem on Pinterest explaining how tired she was after a long day of work leading to her email. So I leaned over and kissed her good night.