Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have a disease called AWESOME...You don`t understand it since you don`t have it.
10 REASONS WHY I`M LAZY... you know what? Never mind. I can do this later.
"Just be yourself" doesn`t work if you suck.
I wish common sense was more common.
I think my guardian angel drinks.
Just saw the trailer for "Noah." I hear The Book is better.
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
Whats the best part about dating a homeless chick, ..... You can drop her off anywhere
Manager: So, do you have any questions about the job? Me: Yeah, can I have it?
It`s too bad parallel lines never meet because they have so much in common.
When I`m at the mall, I carry a purse around so people think I have a girlfriend.
I am fluent in three languages: English, Profanity, and Sarcasm
When you "pretend speak" to someone in the background while ordering takeout so that the restaurant doesn`t judge your big order for one.
This guy at the gym just did 3 sets of selfies.
Why does the sound of the recliner opening always remind my wife the trash needs to be taken out?