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Secretly adding a tablespoon of butter to everything he eats is my long-term exit plan.
Never judge a book by it`s movie.
Some people are training as complainers like it is a competitive sport
exercise........you mean extra fries
I keep my landline active because I know sooner or later Trinity or Morpheus will contact me.
I don`t run away from my problems. That`s immature. I ignore them.
I`m out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
Sorry, I can`t delete any of my voicemails cause then people would be able to leave me a new one
Couldn`t stay awake sitting on the couch, so I laid down in bed to make sure I wouldn`t fall asleep
People are obsessed with this storm but in a couple months no one will talk about it anymore, which is why they named it after the movie Juno.
True self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn.
Leaving a watermelon on someone’s doorstep in the middle of night is a pretty inexpensive way to occupy a portion of their mind forever.
So exactly what age will I stop falling over while trying to put on my underwear?
I can’t remember ever being told I’m a bad listener