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My kids think I`m uncool like I thought my parents where. Time to get even! ;)
Dear Microsoft Office Word I am pretty sure I spelled my name correct
Plan B includes margaritas.
If you can’t be an athlete, be an athletic supporter.
I try to live every day as though it were my last, and who wants to do laundry on the last day they’re alive?
I read an article the other day that said, "if you drink every day you are an alcoholic." Thank god I only drink every night
Now that I`m turning 40, I need to be careful about what I eat and drink and make sure I am getting my nutrients. That is why I just added pulp-free Orange Juice to my Vodka.
It`s not so much that I have to work that bothers me...oh wait, yes it is.
If your talking behind my back then guess what? Your in a pretty good position to kiss my a$$!!!!
Ride me like you stole me.
I`m at the facebook saloon, drinking all night long
It`s frustrating to know, I`ll never experience the exhilaration of getting to meet me.
For just once in my life I want my phone to ring and for someone on the other end to ask if I`m on a `secure line`
I think some people just log into Facebook just to send me game requests.
Did you know that if we laid all the facebook account owners end to end around the world. Three quarters of them would Drown? Hmm ....