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Organized people are just too lazy to look for things!
If you raise your children, you spoil your grandkids. If you spoil your children, you raise your grandkids.
Why does life keep teaching me lessons I have no desire to learn?
Sรถ รฎ hรจรฃrd รฟรดu lรฌkรช gรนรฟลก with รกcรงeรฑts?
Women come in two types: batsiht crazy and hot enough to ignore the batsiht crazyโฆ
Did you hear that? That was the sound of soccer being irrelevant in the US for another 4 years..
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing & they live for 150 years. Lesson learned
Is snaxting a thing? Texting each other pics of your snacks? Cause I feel like Iโd be pretty good at that.
The trouble with living alone is that it`s always my turn to do dishes.
I`m kind of like Hugh Hefner. Only without the mansion, the exotic cars, the girls, the magazine and the money. Basically, I`m just a guy in a bathrobe.
You`ve already put up your Christmas tree? That`s nothing. I`m already drunk for St. Patrick`s Day.
You mean to tell me people run? On purpose? When nobody is chasing them?
Lazy Rule: If you spill water, It will eventually dry.
Twice-baked potatoes, refried beans, etc.: Damn, people, cook it right the first time or get out of the kitchen!
Me: I`m gonna lose weight. Me: I`m gonna exercise every day. Me: I`m gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?