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I`m not sure where you learned to whisper but I`m guessing inside a helicopter surrounded by f*cking chainsaws.
It only takes a second to show someone how you really feel about them... the cops call it indecent exposure, but whatever
I can`t wait for a empty Christmas wrapping paper tube to bonk someone over the head with!
Sometimes I get nervous I haven`t done anything with my life. But then something good comes on TV, and I`m OK.
It`s a shame that stupidity can`t be converted into a usable energy source.
The doctor said I need to drink more whiskey....Oh, by the way... I`m calling myself "the doctor" now.
Oh honey, you`re not pretty enough to be that stupid
The guy who invented the Time Machine has just died.... RIP DAVE JONES 2187-2014
I`m afraid of a world run by adults who were never spanked as kids and got trophies just for participating.
I don`t get why people say "They were busting their ass"? Wasn`t it already cracked to begin with?
If you tickle me, I’m not responsible for your injuries.
I don`t have dirty mind ...I just hav a sexy imagination. ..
If the shoe fits, shove it further up their a$$
It’s called a “remote” because those are your odds of finding it when you want to change the channel.
All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.