Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If sex is said to be the best exercise, than why are there no fitness clubs for that. Now there`s idea. . .
If I told you I loved you, would you believe me or just stand there freaking out about me being in your closet?
I think it`s safe to assume that people buying stock in twitter have never actually been on twitter.
My New Year`s resolution for 2014 is to do something about my procrastination.
I must say I enjoy it more when a girl asks me out. To me, there`s nothing more attractive than that high level of confidence, initiative, and poor judgment.
My doctor asked me if I drink to excess. I told him I would drink to anything.
My face hurts from pretending to like you.
The Easter Bunny doesn`t always drink, but when he does I bet it`s hopscotch.
There 492 billionaires in the United States, and not one of those goddamned losers has decided to become Batman.
Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.
My husband and I are having a serious fight. Do you think I should let him know about it?
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
If you added up all the time you waste on Facebook, think how much TV you could watch.
Alcohol – The best night time: slurring, headache, dehydration, drink spilling, charm killing, so you think you can dance “medicine.”
You must be a parking ticket or something for the word FINE is written all over you.