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To the people that post 15 pics of your kid everyday,your kid looks EXACTLY the same as they did ystrdy,and the day before,and the day before that
Roses are red, violets are blue. I lowered my standards, just for you.
“They dared me to” is ALWAYS a valid excuse.
Whatever you do in life, always give 100%…unless you’re donating blood…
I miss that feeling you`d get at the video store when you discovered the movie you wanted to rent was available.
I act like Pacman at parties. I walk around the room eating everything in site and avoiding everyone.
When one door closes, another opens ... I had a Chevette that was like that.
Who decided that the abbreviation for pound should be two letters not in the word?
I have no super powers. I`m guessing I`m the villain.
You`re in your 20`s... you don`t have "haters"... you have "adults" that think you are "annoying"
In retrospect, replying "Happy as a serial killer in a skin suit factory", probably wasn`t the best way to respond to my therapist.
I don`t care about Disney lying about the Prince Charmings out there. I`m more annoyed that random woodland creatures won`t clean my house.
Chips have little nutritional value. That’s why you need to eat the whole bag.
One man’s LOL is another man’s WTF.
Social Media: Because I like to socialize with cool people without having to speak, wear pants or get off the couch.