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Next time you think life`s not fair..think of this x large clothes cost $2 more than large so why doesn`t small cost $2 less ? Being fat ....now that`s unfair
If you make something easier for yourself they call you lazy. If you make something easier for everyone else they call you a genius.
Imagine being the sort of person who knows what every button on a TV remote does.
Never buy the first round cause that`s when people care what they`re drinking!
We will always have that special 5 minutes before I started creeping you out.
You never see a church with free wifi. I guess because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
Hey bill collectors, nice try, but I don`t even call back people I know.
I just found love.....its on page 369 in dictionary
I have difficulty sleeping at night because I lay awake obsessing over life`s mysteries, like how exactly does paper beat rock.
I like long walks on the beach and drives through Taco Bells drive-thru.
Girl:How do u feel? Boy:With your hands
The great thing about snow is it makes your lawn look as good as your neighbors.
My mind is like "LETS DO THIS SH!T" but my body is like "calm down motherf*cker"
My mom told me to follow my dreams. So I took a nap.
I like working from home. It`s much more comfortable than sleeping in my cubicle.