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I bet the "YMCA" dance is a lot harder to do in different languages
I`ve been waxing my car for twenty years and I still don`t know karate.
Today I found a penny. It reminded me of you. Worthless & found in everybody`s pants.
Pet stores should post "Chameleon" on empty reptile cages just to see how long people would stand and look.
Guys, if my hair doesn`t look like a birds nest afterward, you`re doing it wrong.
Was disappointed when I watched the films Shaft, XXX, X-Men, In To Deep, Snatch, The Box, Free Willy. None of them were what I expected...
Show me a bunch of people with type A personalities, and I`ll show you a control group.
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
I am surprised Cheech and Chong have not filmed a new movie -"Cheech and Chong Smoke Colorado"
The NFL has hired their first female referee ... She will be throwing flags for penalties the teams committed 5 years ago.
"There is a policeman in here and he will ARREST YOU." Things I say to my kids when we`re in public.
I wish people would stop judging me before they find out how much of an a$$hole I actually am.
When we were kids, we didn`t have Pokemon Go. If we wanted to look for things that weren`t there, we would get stoned like normal people.
The most dangerous piece of machinery a person can operate while drinking is the telephone
I`m "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.