Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m gonna start a secret porn industry and call it "The Illuminaughty"
When I was little we didn`t have emojis. We had to put smiley face stickers on handwritten letters like a bunch of savages.
I ate cereal for dinner because I do what I want. I`m an adult. Oh did I say adult? I meant poor. It`s because I`m poor.
Sorry I referred to your baby shower as a gift extortion party.
My train of thought is loco, no motive.
Everyone knows spray tans and Tang come from the same stem cells as Cheetos, so why does Wikipedia keep deleting my edits?
If u think someone (me) is cute u should tell them (me)
The best way to make a bad day better is by adding alcohol.
Drinking coffee is a fun way to become dependent on paying money to wake up.
If you`re having second thoughts, you`re 2 ahead of most people.
The worst part of Aquaman`s day has to be, when he has to kill time on land for half an hour after eating a meal.
Don’t let anybody push you around ... unless you’re in a wagon, cuz that is just plain fun.
If you reach your hand into a woman`s purse, it crosses into a parallel universe containing everything but the one thing you`re looking for.
People that do stuff- what’s your secret?
It takes patience to listen. It takes skill to pretend you’re listening.