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As I said before, I never repeat myself.
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth
The invention of the shovel must have been ground-breaking.
I have cat-like reflexes. If I hear a loud noise, I keep napping.
It has been scientifically proven that any woman can be satisfied with only 3 1/2 inches — and it doesn’t matter if it is Visa or MasterCard
Oh I thought it was wait 30 YEARS after eating before you exercise.
I would eat a lot more salads if they were made out of pizza.
The Zoo is a safe place to fart.
Seems like 2013 was just yesterday.
Do you ever get the feeling that you’re being watched? Because if it’s bothering you, I’ll stop.
I have difficulty sleeping at night because I lay awake obsessing over life`s mysteries, like how exactly does paper beat rock.
You know you have anger-management issues when you use an entire can of fly spray at point blank range to kill the tinest of moths...
Had a great time watching the family oriented PG rated Shrek with my grandson last night... until he asked why a Donkey would have sex with a Dragon.
Dear vegetarians, thanks for saving all the good food for us.
Ive been invited to farmville! Now what to wear...