Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Instead of cars warning us of stupid things, like the door is open, it should tell us useful things, like there`s a cop hiding in the bushes
A yawn is a silent scream for coffee!
Why do prostitutes charge per hour? I mean, what are we supposed to do for the other 57 minutes?
These techno songs last longer than my first marriage
Well I was gonna donate blood today until the lady got all personal and started asking "who´s blood is this?" and "How did you get it?"
I am starting to think I will never be old enough to know better.
They say `No news is good news,` but I think it just means I have a lazy paperboy.
Been there, done that. Hypothetically
Good things come to those who wait. Better things come if you stop f*cking around and make sh!t happen.
The only thing I drink from a shot glass nowdays is Maalox.
When you`re down about your body image just type "fat people" into Google images, always makes me feel better!:)
Cats spend two thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.
Are there actually people who get out of the shower to pee? I want to meet them.
My doctor said I should eat better. I told him, with what he charges, I’m lucky I eat at all.
My own personal hell sounds great, actually