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In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on.
Some people just need sympathetic pat.........on the head........with a hammer
So,do people in England speaks American now that people in America speaks English?
Some marriages end up fine, the others last forever.
Reasons why I never let my girlfriend touch my phone. 1. I don`t have a girlfriend.
Playing dead on the couch all day in case a bear attacks. That`s not lazy, that`s proactive.
Today, I am doing my part to conserve energe, I’m going back to bed.
I can`t fall asleep because I am too excited for Christmas
You think your wife is crazy now? Try divorcing her
I keep my TV volume at "screw the neighbors".
Hope you get down and funky on this the day of your birth!!
Some days you`re the Titanic, some days you`re the iceberg, and some days you`re the guy who jumped off and hit a propeller on the way down.
It’s been “one of those days” for like 3 years now.
Missing my childhood super-powers, when I could sleep on the couch and wake up in bed.
Sometimes I get a little sad and feel like being alone. But then I talk to my dog about it and he reminds me I`m Awesome. Then WE DANCE.