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I wonder if angry people know about naps?
eBay sellers - just because you`ve dug your suit/dress out of the back of your wardrobe doesn`t make it vintage. #JustOldAndSmelly
Dieting is for the birds. Which is why you hardly ever see a fat bird.
Jealously is something you’re good at when you suck at everything else.
I have to admit my heart broke a little when I heard the lady at Starbucks call the guy in line behind me "sweetie" too.
Is the CEO of Kraft also known as The Big Cheese?
Doctor: How`s your headache? Patient: She`s out of town.
A snail can sleep for up to 3 years. I didn`t know it was even possible to be this jealous.
i love you with all my butt. i would say heart but my butt is bigger :)
You’re the shampoo in the eyes of my life.
Monday comes saturday ends and somewhere in between i realized i slept the weekend away....):
Your giving me the silent treatment??? FKN FINALLY!!
Okay kids don`t ever talk to strangers or take candy from strangers or go to stranger`s houses except on the day we worship the devil.
Why did the mushroom go to the party because he was the fungi
My new diet plan consists of multiple naps. Because you can`t stuff your face when you`re sleeping.