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I am trying my very best to get into the holiday spirit but I cant open the damn bottle.
Spent the morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
OH NO !,,,,,,,,, I just realized I can`t stop calling the addiction hotline....
Most people decide to have scramble eggs immediately after thinking: "I`ll just flip this omelette"
Tomorrow the world shall be ours! Until then, good night my evil minions!!
If the Internet was never invented... what would we all be doing now?
I liked you better before we met.
You know it´s cold outside when during rush hour you get the mitten instead of the finger.
Don`t expect me not to hopscotch all over your house if you have fancy tiles.
Why isn`t Wendy`s girl fat? You would think that someone who eats so many Baconators, chicken sandwiches and other burgers, would be quite the porker by now.
I don`t know why you are complaining about your appearance, your personality is even worse.
You think having periods is hard? ... Try being on a 24 hour killstreak on Call of Duty with itchy balls.
Hey ladies, tired of your man complaining about how long it takes you to get ready? Start blow drying your hair in the nude. I promise no more complaints.
Did you ever wonder why the cat was in the bag in the first place?
Once again its friday I know its only been 7 days since the last one but feels like its been a week....