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Saying an actors performance was unbelievable is actually an insult.
I try to live my life by the saying: “You scratch my back and I’ll let you know when to stop.”
Was shopping when a small child riding shotgun in a shopping cart yelling "why you ain`t got no babies?"I bet my father in law paid her
My sleep number is 151 ... Bacardi 151
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you`re ignorant and make bad decisions.
The only thing that makes me happy about the launch of a new model cell phone is that I can finally afford the previous model.
People – the most gentle, loving, kind, sympathetic, peaceful and caring creatures in the world. Especially when they need something from you.
Sign said “WET PAINT” So I emptied my water bottle on it. I’m currently waiting on further instructions.
It`s so expensive being a woman. I know because I have financed a few.
I just finished writing an article on "How To Improve Your Memory"- But I forgot where I kept it!!
I took a sexual harassment course today, I think this is actually something I might be pretty good at
Went shopping alone and the cashier asked, "How are you guys doing?" Now I`m 90% sure he can see ghosts and one is following me around.
It seems like the ‘L’ in my luck has been replaced with an ‘F’.
I just want to be rich enough to pay people to not talk to me.
I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn.....it`s dead yarn now, though.