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"Ramen." - Scooby Doo finishing a prayer.
If that was me in the movie Taken, my dad would have missed the call and texted me 3 days later asking if I have a girlfriend yet.
I love going for walks in the rain. You can pee your pants and no one will be the wiser.
Surly not EVERYBODY was Kung-Foo fighting?
Sleeping is so difficult when you have a world awake in your phone.
I don`t see the point of sex if the neighbours don`t hear it.
The word “fireplace” really reveals the creativity of our ancestors
Why aren`t they called A$$teroids instead of hemorrhoids???
If I look tired at the end of the day, it`s because I just spent eight solid hours looking busy.
You`d think the chances of putting in a USB drive wrongside-up would be 50-50, but nope, 90-10.
I would go for a jog today, but it looks like all of these cupcakes expire today as well.
That`s disgusting! (unless you`re up for it?)
Huh, So you are telling me that these straps on the side of the mattress are for moving the mattress? And not for what I`ve been using them for all this time?
Win every argument simply by repeating your opponent`s last sentence in a whiny voice.
Some questions just answer themselves. Like, sit-ups or pizza?