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I don`t ever know where I`m at till I`m there
It may look like I’m having really deep thoughts but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food I’m going to eat later.
There should be a day in between Saturday and Sunday.
I could really go for a beer and a million dollars.
I`m running out of people I can tolerate!
According to the squirrel riding a unicycle in my kitchen, I may have taken too much sleep medication.......
Yes, I realize I’m leaving early. But don’t forget, I also came in late.
Cool thing about winter is after grocery shopping your car can double as your refrigerator.
I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on your bus do not go round & round.
Come on snooze button, is 9 minutes all you have to offer...I need something in the 2-3 hour range.
I hope when the machines take over the world they start by fixing my cable.
why do people with bad teeth always have a smile on there face
People who peel the entire banana before eating it must be the same ones who take off all their clothes to go to the bathroom.
Curious that it`s always a female computer voice that calmly announces self-destruct sequences and other violent disasters.
I’m planning on ringing the new year in with a kiss ... whether my dog likes it or not.