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We should have staff meetings in the garden. The plants would love the fertilizer.
Test drove a Jaguar today. Very fast but the ride was pretty bumpy and the saddle kept falling off. I also think he tried to bite me.
Someday we’ll look back on all this and pretend not to remember it.
when is humpty dumpty going to hatch?
The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven`t seen for half an hour.
Dear middle finger, Thank you for sticking up for me.
I`m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off a bunch of sh!t all at the same time.
For Lent I`ve decided to give up my New Year`s Resolutions
i have noticed you notice me noticing you
I may be wrong, but I doubt it.
After a night of heavy drinkin’ there’s one thing I can’t stand… and that’s up.
It`s funny how things change when you get older. It seems like just yesterday I would spend my evenings on the front porch and treat myself to some killer weed. Now I spend my
Within 2 minutes, I can gather enough things to allow me to sit and watch tv without getting up for at least 4 hours... Don`t question my laziness
For some reason I`m an extremely secretive person. Don`t ask me why
My wife and I are pretty upset. It looks like someone broke in and surfed porn on my computer. They didn`t touch anything else, so that`s good.