Daily Silly Status

Have you heard about the new movie called constipation? It hasn`t come out yet.

I wish I could afford to be as weird as I wanna be.

I like telling people to "grow up" because even if they hate me I can visit them ten years later and say "Took my advice I see"

Sex, drugs, and candy crush all have one thing in common. It’s only an addiction if you start paying for it.

There is no angry way to say `bubbles.`

In order to get my teenagers attention I shut off the WiFi router and wait for them in the room it`s in.

It never ceases to amaze me that the little space between the driver’s seat and the center console in my car will fit any object that can possibly be dropped, but will not fit a hand.

Why be full of hate when you can be full of pizza?

I bet my road rage will be taken seriously once I get a car.

I feel like doing something productive today. If I sit here long enough, maybe it will go away.

I`m pretty sure even Santa wishes they would stop playing Christmas music on the radio this time of year.

I`ve had this ant farm for a year now and these lazy bastards still haven`t grown any crops.

I always wanted to buy a Parrot and teach it to say, "Help, they`ve turned me into a parrot!"

It kinda makes sense that the target audience for fidget spinners lost interest in them so quickly

Some people come into your life as blessings, others come into your life as lessons.