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I am currently unsupervised ... I know, it freaks me out too. But the possibilities are endless!
Gentlemen may not be extinct, but they are definitely endangered
Facebook Stalker! If you just felt a sudden twinge of guilt then yes I`m talking about you.
To show my support for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I`ll be giving free breast exams all month. Hit me up if you`re interested.
Sorry, I didn’t get your message because I deleted it without listening.
You can tell a lot from a woman by her hands. For instance, if they`re placed around your throat she`s probably slightly upset.
I don`t care if its a scam! Just the fact that the Prince of Nigeria sends me personal email makes me feel special!
TIP OF THE DAY: If you can`t afford porn, just turn on tennis and shut your eyes.
The worst form of Alzheimer’s is when you walk out of the kitchen and forget to grab a beer.
I wondered how smokers could afford them, until I realized they don`t have to save for retirement..
All I want for Christmas is for these calories to not count.
I just want to alternate between napping and eating all day everyday while getting attention, so basically I just wish I were a dog.
I just realized we cook bacon and bake cookies, get it together English.
I’m bored, think I’ll go to the mall, find a great parking spot, sit in my car with my reverse lights on for awhile.
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.