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I’d be more motivated to work out if the stationary bikes had a little basket to hold my snacks and beer.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
I`d like to have a child one day...Two days, tops.
Your giving me the silent treatment??? FKN FINALLY!!
I wish I can start a new diet, but there`s a bunch of old diets I haven`t finish.
why would anyone want a baby? It`s just another thing you have to clean
Recent survey asked people in the U.S if there are too many immigrants: 17% said yes, 83% said Lo siento, no hablan Inglés
Cheers to alcohol! The cause of, and solution, to all of life’s problems!
After a night of heavily drinkin` there`s one thing I can`t stand...and that`s up.
What happens in Vegas stays on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Vine, and medical records.
Yes, I used to "dance like no one is watching"; at least until Google Earth sent me a certificate for ten free lessons.
Learned a lesson from my dog tonight ... No matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that sh1t and move on.
I don’t know who or what is doing it, but one day I will find the thing that continues to steal one sock and destroy it.
"Based on a true story" means it happened more or less like this, but with ugly people.
Hoping to get "till death do us part" reduced to a 15 year sentence and time served.