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I like to friend friends of friends then unfriend the first friend to freak out the friend of a friend.
I used to be a camera man in the porn industry but it became too hard...
My arm fell asleep, which is understandable, considering how boring the rest of my body has been.
So I met an Egyptian, they walk just like us.
Ladies: if you argue with your man naked, you will win every single time.
If wookies have a 400 year life span, then Han Solo is basically like Chewbacca`s third dog.
I`ve learned more from one season of "Shark tank", than I ever learned in four years of buisness school.
I do not argue, I explain why Iām right.
I`m sorry. I know I said hi, but I wasn`t really prepared for any follow-up conversation.
While wearing a bikini you show 90% of your body -But men are so polite, that they stare only at the covered places.
Every conversation should come with a snooze button. That way if you`re being too boring, I can push a button and keep you from talking for the next 10 minutes.
No one your age has any idea what they`re doing either. No matter what age you are.
Hey Lady!, I just deposited $43 dollars in THIS bank.. DON`T FROWN AT ME WHEN I TAKE 3 SUCKERS!
You washed your hands? Be honest. Your hands washed each other, and you just watched like a sick freak.
I thought I cracked this "adulthood" till I realised my shirt was on inside out !!!!!