Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Haters are my motivators(:
Some relationships are like fat people, they don`t Workout!!
Here`s a thought: Let`s let the illegal Mexicans stay and send the whining crybabies to Mexico. At least the illegal Mexicans are willing to work.
*accidentally answers phone call* ... *pretends to be answering machine*
I just started dating a homeless girl and it`s great! When I take her home, I can drop her off anywhere I want.
Am I the only one who thinks water has that taste that no one can describe?
Went looking for camouflage underwear today.....couldn`t find any
I wonder what its like to fart in zero gravity. Does it like...propel you forward? These are things people need to know NASA
People must stop questioning my sanity, it wont answer them.
So impolite of people to sneak up on you while you’re talking sh!t about them.
You really are the cat`s pajamas, and by that I mean you`re a stupid idea.
Bacon is the only exception that does not fall under the 5 second rule for dropped food.
I almost forgot to upload a pic of my Starbucks coffee. What a waste of coffee that would have been!
I had a wet dream about you last night. Yeah, I was drowning you in a lake.
I thought we had something. You met my family, made me dinner, called me honey. Now suddenly you’re a “waitress” who was “doing her job?”