Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My dad taught me righty tighty, lefty loosie.... that`s why I never dated left handed chicks.
I don’t hate you, I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence.
Was building a website for women drivers ... Bloody thing kept crashing.
I poured some shampoo over my speakers today and they blew up... So much for EXTRA VOLUME.
I need my decision making privileges taken away.
"You have the right to remain silent so as not to incriminate yourself" -- 5th Amendment, understood by nobody on Facebook.
I should probably be in a relationship just for the supervision.
Mondays are middle finger approved
Drinking: because why not intensify the feelings you’re trying to escape?
The best two kinds of beer in this world are....Cold & Free..
No one understands you better than some crazy weirdos on the internet.
Google maps should have a “Scenic!” route option for when we’re not in a hurry and just want to enjoy the ride.
I am NOT high maintenance, I simply have more preferences than most.
"Wow! That butterfly`s gonna be HUGE!" - First person to find a mummy
What`s this g-mail? I just got used to e-mail. And why did they skip f-mail?