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I love it when the person’s laugh is funnier than the actual joke.
Poetry would be a lot harder if violets were orange.
You are intriguing. You require further stalking, sorry I mean investigation.
You don’t have to be naked to have a good time, but it helps.
*puts selfie on top of christmas tree because I am the star*
If it was the other way around, I doubt one cat would take in 23 old ladies.
You should be required to read a book for every 10 selfies you take.
My Life Alert bracelet says.....: I`m Just Napping
Having a dirty mind makes simple conversation much more exciting!
I was born at a very early age.
Last night I was thrown out of the casino for misunderstanding the use of the Crap table.
Son, you don`t get anything in life without trying hard and working for it. Now be quiet, there about to announce the lottery results...
Let’s fix the obesity problem AND improve eye-hand coordination by replacing vending machines with claw machines, make people earn snacks.
The longer a Woman takes to get ready, the easier it is to piss her off.. it`s Science
Fitness? More like, fitness whole pizza in my mouth.