Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The only time I want to hear about your baby is when you tell me it ain`t mine.
Your car took up two spaces, I tried to move it over with my key.
The Great Wall of China has brought more foreigners than it has kept out.
Just in: Chinese people confirm they were just messing with us with chopsticks. "You guys look like dumb idiots lol" says one Chinese guy
Girls here`s how to tell if a guy wants you for sex - 1: He does
If you want to get me to do something, bribery does work.
I’m going to the gym because I heard they have free weights. I wonder how many they’ll let me take?
"There`s a sleeping person. Let`s go ask it questions." – Children
If you hear a roommate having loud sex, a cool thing to do is kick down the door and shout "player 3 has entered the game!"
I feel like I have not told enough people lately to kiss my mother f*cking a$$.
bitches want what they cant have..or thats what I keep telling myself
I miss being in a relationship. Could 1 of you girls come over here and yell at me, treat me like shi t and not sleep with me? It might help.
If history has taught us anything, it`s that reheated french fries are gross.
When I see a girl with too much makeup, I just want to use my finger to write "Wash Me" on her face.
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)