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Today has me seriously evaluating my policy of not drinking on the job.
It’s embarrassing that 90% of my Google history is just words I wasn’t sure how to spell, and yes I googled embarrassing.
I’m just going to put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
Do you guys ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you & they`re stabbing it? No? How about now?
Best of luck explaining why you’re still single at Thanksgiving and Charles Manson isn’t.
Listening to the voices in my head, I’ve concluded that they’re having more fun than me.
I was the kid my parents warned me about.
My wife says I`m a clueless idiot. I didn`t even know I had a wife.
Love your neighbor. But don`t get caught.
The greatest fear is NOT fear itself. It’s dropping your phone in a port-a-potty!
*driving behind a cop* Well, well, well. Looks like the tables have turned.
If zombies attack the world, everyone will run and hide. Except for us gamers, of course. We`ve been waiting for this all our lives!
We should be nicer to old people. When they walked uphill both ways in the snow they had to do it without an internet connection too.
It`s spooky how many kids look like their owners.
Please be patient...I`m fcuking things up as fast as I can.