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Ambulance is spelled backwards on the front so when you look in your rearview mirror you don`t confuse it with the other giant siren cubes.
What a terrible day. I`m going to drive through puddles & splash pedestrians to make myself feel better,
Live today like it`s your last!! But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn`t.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
I have a fold up treadmill under my fold up bed, so by the time I get the treadmill set up, I`m like "That`s enough exercise for today"
People who talk to themselves tend to be better lovers. Did you know that? Yes, I did know that. Thank you for asking.
People I hate are not allowed to be funny.
Taking my wife to a wife swapping party tonight… Hoping to get a PS4 in return.
11th Commandment: Thou shall not gossip about other people’s lives when you are not doing any better yourself.
gets drunk on one drink. The trouble is, I can´t remember if it´s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
I successfully cleared a path from the front door to the TV. Now I can watch Hoarders.
Dyslexics are teople poo.. :|
At any given time my wallet is worth more than its contents.
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off your life.... Based on the math, I should have died in 1732.
Remember before Amazon reviews when you could just buy a toothbrush without 6 hours of research?