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It`s ok if you don`t like my personality,,, I`ve got others.
I was about to read the story below. But it was too long.
"Fidget Spinners are so dumb pointless." -The generation that purchased over 5 million Pet Rocks.
I`ll never understand why the guy that invented braille didn`t just put the dots in the shape of the actual letters.
The average fight between men lasts 3 minutes. The average fight between women lasts 17 years.
When you are on a first date and she says to you: āI want you to treat me like a movie star,ā it is vitally important to establish which type of movie.
sometimes when i`m lonely i`ll fill my bathtub with tomato sauce and pretend that i`m a meatball
I hate when people post lyrics from songs, but I will survive.
I did 10 minutes of cardio this morning. I was still drunk from last night, and I was trying to tie my shoes but whatever.
I`m the crazy bitch you`ll never forget.
When Life Gives You Lemons Don`t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don`t want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?! Demand to see life`s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I`m the man who`s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I`m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
My 13yo just dumped his girlfriend and now he`s attempting to get his hoodie back. He`s in for one hell of a life lesson.
Never call a woman crazy because she will say, āIām not crazy!ā and then go and do something crazy. Probably with matches.
Iām pretty sure I could start a new life with only the crap in my car.
Don`t text me while I`m texting you. Now I have to go back and change my text.