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People will do odd things to get even.
I’ve had no formal martial arts training, but I know for a fact the Power Rangers are wasting too much energy on unnecessary summersaults
"I didn`t get your text" is the new "my dog ate my homework"
Well...today is the day. Just gotta build up the nerve to tell my dog she is adopted.
When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it…
If you were born in September, it`s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a BANG
I`ve got this great new drinking game where you take a shot every time you want to get more drunk.
Politicians are people who have too little an amount of morals and ethics to remain lawyers.
If you`ve had cats, the singles virus may already be inside you.
My mind says go to the gym but my heart says food.
Part of me says I can´t keep drinking like this. The other part of me says, "Don´t listen to that guy. He´s drunk."
Everyone’s beautiful on the inside. Some people just need a few good stab holes to let that beauty out.
is it rude to throw a breath-mint in someone`s mouth while they are talking?
I`d like to give you a big thumb`s-up. But I`m afraid that would be the wrong finger.
I mixed Taco Bell sauce into my Ramen Noodles, It tastes exactly like poverty.