Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Smelling another person should be a choice. Just sayin’
Stairs are like rock climbing after a bottle of vodka.
Please don`t hastag out loud...
I have a pretty big ass, so when I half ass something you`re still getting something impressive.
I think the tie was invented by someone who wanted to express how he felt about work but thought an actual noose was too obvious.
Spicy food is like BDSM for your mouth
Sometimes you`ve got to ask yourself: `Why am I talking to myself?`
"Is that for here or to go?" —Real estate agent selling a mobile home
whenever I take my clothes off the shower usually gets turned on
People are obsessed with the front seat of the car but when you get in a bus, you go straight to the back
This Halloween, the only Candy I`m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
Gaining weight while you owe me money is a sign of disrespect
I have a pornographic memory... Go ahead and get naked, I`ll remember you.
I party like a rockstar. A very poor rockstar who isn`t in a band.
Just another day of not being rich and famous.