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My boss says I intimidate the other employees, so I just stared at him until he apologized
"Teeter Totter" is the silliest name for toddler catapults.
did you notice when you yell "yo ugly" about 10 people turn around
It`s so nice to come home and relax with Facebook after a long day at the office being on Facebook.
I`m always on the verge of running three miles, or drinking a bottle of Vodka
Target had a credit card breach? But only with in-store purchases, not online? More proof you`re better off staying home with no pants on.
Do people with cats not know about dogs?
If you trip and are about to fall on the ground yell "He`s got a gun!" and then you`ll look like a cool hero.
Happy 4/21! National work drug testing day!
The self-driving car should have an "I`m Feeling Lucky" button that drives you to a random location.
I can either be on time or wearing pants. Pick one.
There damn well better be strippers & beer at my intervention because there is no way in hell I`m sitting through that sober!
If you cut your child`s sandwich into squares instead of triangles, you suck at parenting...
The term "chubby chasers" is so inaccurate and misleading. Cause we don`t run.
That awkward moment when you forget what you’re watching during the commercial break.