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I would like to wish all of the groundhogs a very safe and happy Groundhogs Day.
If people are what they eat, some people must eat a lot of stupid.
One trenta cheeseburger please.
*Financial Status* Just rinsed off a paper plate...
Am I the only one who calculates how much sleep I can get before I go to bed?
Yesterday I jokingly asked my wife what she was burning for dinner. Turns out it was all my personal belongings.
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle
When a movie says "Based on a true story." it means this is sort of what happened but with way uglier people.
Facebook- to help future generations discover if there`s ever been any mental illness in the family.
As a matter of fact, the whole world does revolve around me.
Posting inspirational quotes online is the first sign to depression.
The future was so much cooler in the past.
I`m broker than the Tooth Fairy in a house full of Meth addicts.
If cats could text you back, they wouldn`t.
I`m gonna just take a quick nap before I go to bed.