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Women can walk around all day long in a bikini, but God forbid if you see them in their bras and panties. I will never comprehend this.
Given enough coffee, I could rule the world.
Never judge a book by it`s movie.
When I arrive at work, how long can I spend screaming in my car before it becomes weird?
Everyone can stop painting. We all have cameras that can take perfect pictures of everything.
I gave up my Ego, because I am so much better than that..................
Go to O`Reilly Auto Parts website and type, `121G` in the search bar.
Ever had one of those days that you feel like you should have skipped the coffee and went straight for the booze?
Pretty much always 3-5 seconds away from just laying down wherever I am.
I spend 800% of my life exaggerating.
This status has been censored by Facebook
When you think about how big the Earth is, then how small it is compared to the Sun, and how the Sun is just a speck of dust in the universe, it`s easy to justify eating an entire chocolate cake.
I hate when reality happens outside of my head.
My friend bought some new floral underwear today. I asked her why she bought `floral` underwear to which she replied "its in memory of all the faces that have been buried there".
You know you are in the hood when your portable GPS says “Drive faster and put me under the seat.”