Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Who needs dance lessons when you`ve got alcohol?!
I just made 3 critical errors: 1. I woke up for work. 2. I went to work. 3. I arrived at work.
3 shots of vodka can erase 8 hours of rage in 15 minutes. That’s all the math you really need to know.
Remember they’re just as afraid of seeing you dance as you are of dancing.
I`m starting to think all that stuff about Y2K is not going to happen !
Drinking lots of beer and doing my taxes. So far the Government owes me 3.1 million. I love this Country!
This girl says she wants me to butter her muffin.. I don’t even know what that means but now I’m hungry.
I`ve been told that I never take responsibility for anything, and it`s all your fault.
I think all priuses are gay transformers living here on earth
Using a public restroom always reminds me how much better I am at flushing a toilet than a lot of other people.
Don`t look at me in that tone of voice...
Exercise makes you look better naked. Alcohol does the same, you pick..
You never know how dirty a song`s lyrics are until you hear a child sing them.
They say I have a drinking problem. I say they have a problem with nudity.
Sometimes I drive between lanes and pretend my car is Pacman gobbling up the dashed lines.