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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, please take them off.
If I was rich, I`d do nothing all day from a much nicer couch
I don`t get it, no matter how many times I call `shotgun` the cops always put me in the backseat.
Girls don`t dress for boys, they dress for themselves... If girls dressed for boys, they`d just walk around naked all the time.
Whenever I hear the phrase `anything is possible`, I giggle and think about someone trying to slam a revolving door :)
Even if I were taking a dump on the moon someone would walk in and sit down in the stall next to me.
Sometimes it`s fun to make fun of yourself. Almost as fun as it is to make fun of others.
Note to Self: Wearing headphones do not make my farts silent.
I`m not worried about the zombie apocalypse that is coming. I`m worried about the fcuktard apocalypse that is here right now.
I think I really have an amazing butt, every time I talk to someone and start walking off they say,"what an a$$.."
I just missed winning the lottery by only 6 numbers.
Would the 2 Sonic dudes just get it over with and kiss already
I will never miss you, because I`m a really good shooter.
I was trying to have a mature arguement but "look, you ignorant f*cktard" just popped out
"I love you unconditionally*." -God *certain terms and conditions apply. See Bible for more details.