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All women want is to have a relationship with an intelligent man. The only problem is, intelligent men don’t get into relationships.
It is days like today that I am glad that we all don`t live in a Yellow Submarine. Well at least not in the same one.
I like having an ex ...it gives me something to do on Facebook at 3 in the morning.
Everyone has a right to their own opinion, no matter how wrong they are. And that`s why we have a problem.
People with pierced nipples have no excuse for losing their keys.
I don’t know who decided that high heels were just for women but…GOOD CALL.
Loneliness is when your sleeve unrolls itself while washing dishes and you try to roll it back up with your face.
I am a Mother hear me roar.....especially when my kids decide to make a kite out of my granny panties and fly it down the street.
$100 for a dozen red what?! That`s a lot of money for a plant you can’t smoke.
Not doing anything with my life is surprisingly time consuming.
If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that doesn`t let you skip.
Just once, I`d like to clock out from work by sliding down a dinosaur.
What idiot named them jet skis instead of boatercycles
I think germs are so nice for waiting 5 seconds before attacking food that falls on the floor.
It`s like my pastor always says, "Who are you and why are you stealing wine?"