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Arguing with a woman is like buying a lottery ticket, you`re proably not gonna win, but you`re sure as hell gonna try!
The secret to eternal life and happiness could be hidden in the Terms & Conditions and we would never know.
Why do they play this music on the elevators if we`re not suppose to slow dance.
Lightning bugs use their blinkers more than most drivers.
Some of the best things in life...are mistakes.
When I`m sad, I sing...Then I realise my voice is worse than my problems.
It just occurred to me that you could substitute Miranda rights for wedding vows. Verbatim.
You are by far my smartest and best looking friend on Facebook.
Shout out to people wondering what the opposite of in is.
Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
It´s not that I hate you, it´s just.. well I´ll put it this way.. if you were on fire & I had water, I´d drink it.
Had a great time watching the family oriented PG rated Shrek with my grandson last night... until he asked why a Donkey would have sex with a Dragon.
I swear I can hear Google sigh every time I start typing in their search bar.
popsicle sticks: $1. caramel: $3. onion: $1. watching ur kid bite into a caramel onion thinking its an apple: priceless.
I`ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I`m actually talking to someone.