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Hey, if anyone needs help raising their kids, come talk to me. I`ve been one for 30 some years now.
When I`m sad, I sing...Then I realise my voice is worse than my problems.
A comprehensive list of the things women have taught me: 1) I`m wrong.
I`m not the sort of person you should put on speakerphone.
I`ll call it a smartphone the day I yell "Where`s my phone?" and it yells "Down here! In the couch cushions!"
It will be light. It will be dark. It will be light. It will be dark. It will be light. Then I`m back. Me, explaining a vacation to my cat.
Iām not stupid. Iām just too lazy to show how smart I am.
I`m not judging you, I`m just trying to guess what medications you`re on.
I`m only 30 lbs away from my New Year`s resolution to lose 20 lbs!!
Funny word combinations :Clearly misunderstood, Exact estimate, Small crowd, Act naturally, Found missing, Fully empty and above all ... Happily Married
Car commercials make driving around in empty parking structures look fun and normal and not suspicious or kidnappy.
OMG, what a day I had. If Monday was a guy, I`d punch him in the throat!
I never thought I`d be the kind of person who`d wake up early in the morning to exercise ... And I was right.
"User Friendly" is just another way of saying stupid.......
There`s nothing like the laughter of a baby....unless you`re home alone at 1 am...and you don`t have children...