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Sometimes, you can just tell it`s gonna be a "does not play well with others" kind of day.
169 is still a sex position, but with a creepy guy watching.
Dear grumpy people: donuts are only $.99
I have no problem admitting that you made a mistake.
Someone asked me today if ive ever been with two women at the same time. But why would I want to disappoint two women at the same time?
Nothing gets me motivated for 10-15 seconds like a good inspirational quote.
No matter what happens this month, at least you’re not a turkey.
My internet went down. By which I mean my neighbors changed their password.
Just saw a guy driving while eating ice cream. F*cking sundae drivers.
On the bright side, my coffee will never get cold in hell.
I rather be a known drunk, than an Anonimous Alcoholic
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance… The five stages of waking up.
I really wish Wal-Mart had a 10 teeth or more line...
At what number beer are you offically not working from home anymore?
Since everything is closed for Thanksgiving I’m going to drive around and park in all the good spots I never get.