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My TV volume is always set at "f*ck the neighbors".
I noticed you stopped taking your meds. Can I have them?
i dont normally have a cool facebook status, but when i do, an older relative spoils it with a lame comment.
To a woman, sexual harassment is when a man makes advances towards her. If a woman makes advances towards a man, we call that getting lucky.
I may not be the richest guy...or the smartest guy...or the funniest guy...or the best-looking guy...or the .....:( Forget it, now I`m depressed.
The best part about having an old VW is driving down the road and watching people punch the sh!t out of each other.
I`m feeling about as useful as a stoplight in Grand Theft Auto.
DID YOU KNOW: If every person on the planet lined up along the Earth`s equator, most of them would drown.
I suspects that whoever named that Icelandic volcano (Eyjafjallajokull) must have fallen asleep on their keyboard while thinking it up.
I`m not a bitch, I just have a low bullsh!t tolerance.
Car commercials make driving around in empty parking structures look fun and normal and not suspicious or kidnappy.
I can`t help but smile when I see a woman wearing a Supertramp Concert t-shirt
Secret Web Cam Test: Please nod your head yes if you can read this.
Drank way too much beer last night. Didn`t leave any for this morning.
You´re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!