Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I thought the movie `fast & furious` was about my sex life. I`m fast, my wife is furious.
If by crunches you mean Captain Crunch cereal, then yes I do crunches.
This lasagna recipe has been handed down in my family for generations in the hopes that someone would eventually make it.
In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on
The only way I know if I’ve bought enough beer is if my car thinks I have a passenger.
Everyone always talks about the early bird. How about the early worm? How´d that work out for him?
I`m starting to get that "f*ck it" attitude about everything..
Don`t mix Viagra with Iron Supplements. It will cause you to spin around and point north.
Telling people your phone is gonna die, But you really just don’t want to text them.
When I was a teenager, a "selfie" meant something totally different than it does today.
Porn is a lot like yoga pants. Not everybody should be in them.
Your screenshots of text message conversations tell me: 1. you have a great sense of humor 2. to never trust you
Everyone hates performance enhancing drugs. Yet, everyone loves Captain America.
When one door closes it`s probably because someone shut it.
Tips for Guys on Valentine`s Day: Tell your girl you already got something and make her guess. She`ll automatically list things she wants.